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Illumination

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Hello, lovelies. I hope you are all well and that you are heading into a weekend of fun and relaxation. My blog post tonight is in response to a word prompt from this link: https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2018/09/07/your-daily-word-prompt-illuminate-september-7th-2018/

This week has been a tough one for me. I’ve received several bits of bad news, some of which is breaking my heart. And I’ve had to watch my child struggle, which further shatters me. The change is for her own good, but it’s scary and confusing for her and no matter how much I’ve tried to prep her, it’s something that she has to face, predominantly, without me. She started school, and she tells me that she does not like it.

She says she won’t go and doesn’t like anything about it, and yet she’s been singing songs she’s learned there and talking about her friends that she’s making. So it’s not all bad. When she is crying to me and saying she won’t go, my heart breaks and everything seems so dark and bleak. But then I hear her singing a silly song, or chattering about playing with so-and-so, or how a friend tried to make her laugh with a silly drawing and it’s as if someone turns on a softly glowing light, illuminating the situation and showing it for what it is. It’s a change. And I don’t know many people who deal well with change, least of all a small, headstrong, Warrior Princess.

So despite the darkness, there is light. Or, as in the photo above, what looks to be a scattering of dead leaves contains a tiny toad…a little treasure to be found in all that detritus.

I know that she will grow to love most of it, even if she never loves ALL of it. Let’s be real, here. How many of us loved every single thing about school? I didn’t. And I still would have probably lived there. I loved being at school and was always the weird kid who, after just a couple of weeks of summer vacation, could not wait to go back. I hope she will love it, too. Even if not as much as I did. She’s smart and loves to learn, she’s super social and enjoys having friends, and it will teach her about having a structured day. (Our home tends to be a more free-flowing, roll-with-the-punches type of place.)

Hopefully soon she will have a moment of illumination, of realization and it will dawn on her that, yes, she is away from Mommy, but there are good things about that, too. And she will know that I will always be there to scoop her up at the end of the day, no matter what other hell I may be facing in life at the moment.

So when you’re having a dark time, just remember, there really is some sort of silver lining there, even if you can’t see it at the moment. It will come eventually.

2 thoughts on “Illumination”

  1. I’m so sorry you have had such a bad week and that your daughter has been struggling with her new life changes. I hope you have a better weekend, you and your daughter in my thoughts! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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